Our Generation

A never ending frivolous desire to be ubiquitous and stagnant in one moment, in every moment, always.

Am I Crazy?

Nothing in the world makes me feel more powerful than the transformation I began 6 months ago.

This body will be sculpted to aerial perfection.

Pole is life, I wonder what it feels like to have a title.

If you don't like it, don't look.

Jus' Some

I'm exhausted, up at 4:40am, but Boot Camp was great.

WTF SCHOOL - 8 exams next week?

I had a cheat day yesterday for my family birthday BBQ - some dairy, a white bun :O

Back on track today - this I am proud of:

I was so tired after school today I just wanted to say fuck it and go buy something on the way - but instead I made a really crappy salad because a crappy salad is STILL a salad and part of the challenge:

So sad, right?

Saturday SHRIMP SALAD after an absolutely wonderful day;

Feeling really good today besides all of that. Calm.

Feel better Stv.

Hanson Was Amazing

When I was young. Did anyone else have those books;

"Totally Taylor!" - "Zac Attack!" ?

90's on 9 must be playing again;

"Hold on to the ones who really care, in the end they'll be the only ones there"

Well said, Taylor, well said.

Friday's Salad

And for now, Saturday Morning FRUIT Salad

Try This & See What Happens

(sorry for excessive blogging but I couldn't resist this)

I can't help but be totally enthused by the new blog I found and posted about earlier this week. Here's something I did that warmed my heart;

Go to a date that means something to you, and see what the message for that day is.

Was it applicable?

I went to my Dad's birthday, and this is what I found:

I feel like this is such a sign, because I used to have a journal I started to write my journey since losing him & life growing up - it was titled "Your 1 Worth".

Try & let me know - Did this have any effect for you?

For Mckenzie Woodman:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

HOLY SHIT

I CANNOT WALK!

I'm experiencing a little thing we like to call DOMS, in the massage world;

Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness

FUCK! YOU!

Boot Camp tomorrow bright and early. Gunna be wicked, considering I can't even get into my car without looking like I have a disability!

Made a curry chicken salad today, and left Julv in a house smelling like India!
I'm chuckling at my desk...

Red Peppers are so amazing. On their own, not so much, in a salad? Ooh-eee. Just sayin'.

Bike Riding:

Sunday Night! I'm picking up the bikes and we gon' cruise Marda Loop!

(ps. When I say 'night' I mean before 9pm because that's my bed time!)

HIGHEST MARK IN MY KINES. / ADVANCED ANATOMY - I AM LOVIN' LIFE!

Don't Spread Yourself Too Thin

In lieu of recent events (hitting the breaking point as far as anxiety, stress & an over-packed schedule go) I'm taking my Mother's (& other's) advice to stop burning the candle at both ends;

I quit my job

- to have more time to study, do clinic, rest, relax & have a SPARE moment!

sigh sigh sigh of relief - for once

BootCamp Day 1

Success! I was up at 4:45am no problem. My trainer is so nice (and really attractive - can you say motivation? Muahah...) but holy crap it was brutal hard!

It's now been over 12 hours since then, and I won't lie - it feels like a different day. But I'm not tired! Therefore, I feel today was great over all!

The challenge also began for me today and I made the best salad ever! See photo:

I had NO refined sugar, NO dairy and I did over an hour of fitness ! *pats self on back*

I think that the hardest part of the challenge for me will be the daily salad. I don't have too much time between school & work so I'm going to follow in the foot steps of Mr.StvG, and post a photo to stay accountable. Someone please get on my case if you don't see a picture [Abbey?] :).

Also, I'm now 21! I don't feel any different - not surprising. Tons of birthday messages and texts made for a smiley day. A day that commenced at 8:45pm. How unexpected?

Who wants to go bike riding?!

First Post-It

I discovered a blog today that's really great- check it out here!

I'm using this specific post-it from the site for inspiration with my Boot Camp, and I may re-post it when I need to remind myself. I hope some of you do the same, because a little pick-me-up comes in handy sometimes!

I realize Boot Camp isn't impossible, but 5:15am is a time I haven't been friends with since I worked at Red Arrow. And even then I could barely sleep from paranoia I'd miss my alarm. Actually more like 4:45 will become my friend, I have to BE THERE at 5:15. It's going to be a challenge for me, 3 days a week for 2 months. Wish me luck!

I Bid You Adieu, Twenty

My birthday is tomorrow! For anyone who knows me, even in the slightest - you KNOW this is essentially my favorite day ever! It makes it even better that I have pole tomorrow, so I will be spending it doing my favorite thing. I have school, which sucks. It's on a Tuesday, which also sucks. I have boot camp at 5:15am the following day which SUCKS...

I'm kidding. It really isn't so bad. I'm not drinking regardless, and Boot Camp = WIN not SUCK.
Also, I've already had the

BEST BIRTHDAY ON THE PLANET EARTH - FRIDAY NIGHT!

That is an understatement. I was heading into the weekend thinking I'd have a really low-key birthday dinner and just go dancing on Saturday - I didn't even want to make an event because I know everyone is busy, I AM busy, and over all I didn't want to be let down.

Driving up to Curtis' place I had NO idea where I was, and WHO the fuck lived in the house I was about to enter, let alone what was happening inside.

The door opens and almost EVERYONE on the planet that I love and miss was in the living room. Yelling SURPRISE - which, potentially stopped my heart for a moment, as you can witness me gripping at my chest moments after walking in the door.

Honey Brown Keg = Check off my bucket list

I had the best time. The BEST night ever. I can't say it enough. Thank you thank you thank you for everyone who came and made me feel so loved. I will never forget that night.

I would now like to post some of the photos that I feel sum up the night.

Best Birthday Visitors

Some of My Favorite People

Forced Into Doing My 1st Ever Keg Stand

The Result of Said Keg Stand..

And the Reason This All Happened!

I Love You!

Push

May - Begin Sculpture

So, Boot Camp starts in a few days (May 10th) and what better way to amp my results by adding a separate challenge to help me keep up workouts that will be on my own, and also focus on nutrition!

I'm not "officially" registering into the challenge but the list of guidelines that I have to follow are;

• 45 minutes of workout everyday - 2-4 of which must be resistance/strength training
• Eating a large salad everyday
• No dairy
• No refined sugars
• 50% less alcohol consumption (hoping to make this more like 95% less..)

I agree with Stv when it comes to realizing WHERE refined sugars are found but I do have a Nutrition Nazi in my class, so I can always ask her for help.

Contrary to that struggle, I have my pole in my favor. If I don't feel like doing anything else, working up a sweat on my pole is my favorite time waster, and 45 minutes will fly by!

Also, seems like it's time to finally dust off the weights I got for Christmas!

Whenever I see them I think of you, because they're called "Alex" & you always say I look like an Alex.

I've been asking Julv to photograph my "before" photo's for a while now, just for personal use, but now I have something to motivate me further.

Over all, I'm really excited to try this out. I haven't had to push my body in a long time, and I can't wait to see what happens.

My Kinesiology, Advanced Anatomy & Exercise Physiology midterms are tomorrow and the day after. I'm actually feeling REALLY good about these exams. Not dreading them at all. Can you believe I'll be done in 3 months? Fuck. Yes.

Pole Level 4 - Class 3 is tomorrow. Last week I finally came across a move I can't quite do. Personally, I have no desire to do this as part of my recreational practice, but it's so frustrating knowing that I can't put this under my belt. If you would like to see the move, search "wrist seat" or "wrist sit" on YouTube and I'm sure you'll find something close enough.

Once I master this move, I'll post my winning photo!

I can't wait to see you, I'm counting the hours !

It's my birthday weekend coming up - If you're interested, come to the Zoo on Saturday! Not exactly sure what time, but it should be a good time. I don't know details but I think with Jodie & Megan being in town we'll probably go out Friday/Saturday.

I think that's it for today, except one final note;

I'm going to Gaga!

Comment's I've Received Today

From the guys I work with:

You look like a teacher
You look like a librarian
You look like a secretary
You look professional
You changed your style today...

What is this a result of, you may be wondering?

Waking up 10 minutes before I needed to leave for work, wearing a dress shirt and blazer (this clothing choice never happens), and having my hair up because I head bed head and showering wasn't an option.

Aka - LAZINESS = Notice Taken

Last week I cut my hair and actually attempted to look nice at work (this choice never happens) and NO ONE noticed.

How do boys even work? Beats the hell outta me.

90's on 9

Does anyone have satellite radio? It's always playing at work - 80's on 8 station - which, don't get me wrong, is a wonderful station.

But every now and then people have been playing the 90's channel, and now that I have satellite in the Jeep I like to listen to it too.

For instance, as I type this 'All Saints' is playing. HAH - what happened to them?? What happened to 80% of the people that come on? (Clearly, Backstreet Boys playing creates bliss and not curiosity - in case you were wondering)

Song Change - Aqua Barbie Girl 

Listening to 90's music feels like smelling a sweater you found in your grandparents basement and having about 20 memories coming instantly flooding back.

I guess the more important question shouldn't be 'what happened to..' but 'what do you remember about 90's music'. Personally, everything that's come to mind has been hysterical or calming. I will accept either of those willingly.

Song change - Ini Kamoze Here Comes the Hotstepper

 All I know is the "Naaaa, na na na naaa, na na na na na na na na na na, na na na naaa"

(10 bucks says if you're not Megan Dietrich that's all you know too)

 Okay friends, another Q - What 90's song defines you the most? To provoke response, I will take the liberty of making my own assumptions for a couple of you who actually read this blog:

 Song change - TLC Unpretty
[ RIP Left Eye, Beth is holding down your legacy ]

• Abbey S: Let's Talk About Sex - Salt-N-Pepa
• Jodie G: Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
• Mckenzie W: Pretty Fly For A White Guy - The Offspring
• Megan D: Baby Got Back - Sir Mixx-A-Lot

 One final question;

 Are you Jimmy Ray?

What's Good:

• A girl I work with gave me a $100 gift certificate to Fit Body Boot Camp
• The Alberta Government gave me 5,000 dollars
• Finally getting the Jeep tomorrow - BIGGEST relief ever - FUCK YOU worst Insurance Lady
• Jodie & Megan for 1 week IN 1 week
• BBC 3/week for 8 weeks for the price of 2/week! MAY 10 MAY 10 MAY 10!
• Pole Class tomorrow & how AMAZING it feels to master tricks because it's all in the legs!
• Birthday nearing and jungle 'jim' playing!

Only one thing that isn't so good...

I just wrote the Bill of Sale for good ol' Alero.

RIP Grandma "the boat" Mobile

Untitled.

I feel like I've recently had an epiphany.

Now, I'm not really an expert on how these things work, or if it's what you'd call a quarter life crisis - but regardless I feel so READY to make something BIG happen in my life.

Streaming through blogs, and even Facebook profiles, I notice such foreboding trends.
Some of which I've mentioned before; constant negativity, false confidence, translucent relationships smeared all over the place, empty goals...

I'm over it. I can't even look anymore. I wonder how quickly arthritis sets in from over-use of the atlantoaxial joint. I'd be a prime candidate if this hadn't happened. Head shake 101.

I was talking to a friend today who seems to be having a rough go of it lately. I gave her my most honest and sincere words of kindness despite knowing very little of the situation at hand. She seemed so thankful and touched, and I wondered why? The last conversation we had was over a month ago, and the last time we were physically in the presence of one another was probably longer than that. I figured my opinion - though completely from the heart - would sound like a broken record at this point, after her closer friends' bout.

Where is the fucking good in life?
Why is being nice, down to earth and separate from drama so rare?

I'm not perfect, not even close - but every day I am making effort to be the kind of person I would want to have in my life. I physically and internally document goals for myself all the time. Goals that aren't just about how I should "study every day this week". Goals that are making me the BEST version of me possible. Goals that help me exude energy that is real, and not for a second agenda.

I watched a video of a man who swam the English Channel yesterday. And during the commentary it stated: Essentially anyone with general health is capable of this.

I don't want to swim for 16 hours to walk onto the sands of France, I don't want to climb Mount Everest; but if "General Health" is all it takes to do something absolutely incredible, then what the fuck am I waiting for?

This is not some temporary audacious outlook - bold declaration without real betterment makes me sick;

This is the beginning of everything I am capable of.

WHOOPS

I say this in my head a lot lately.

Thanks for the talk, I really needed it. Probably will continue to need it, soon.

I would LOVE to post about how AMAZING my first class of Level 4 Pole was last night, but - Julv is going to photograph me this weekend, which means no more photos of randoms, and progress photos that are MINE!

I can't wait! And I hope you can't wait either!

Summer

Vancouver Pride August 1st 2010 - Don't mind if I do...

Las Vegas? Sure, I'll have a side of that too.

Picking up the Jeep, Saturday.

Missing you, everyday.

Random Thought

It creeps me the FUCK out when people refer to their eating disorders as Ana & Mia.

Well, Since You're Sticking Around

I might as well justify you, anxiety.

Things I'm Happy About Anticipating

Boot Camp Mondays & Wednesdays @ 5:45am

Regulars for Clinic Fridays from 3-7:00pm

Post Secondary being First Priority

Level 4 Pole Tuesdays @ 8:00pm

There, I have acknowledged you, so settle down - hopefully.

I've been following a blog of an adult fitness facility in the US, and particularly one AMAZING pole dancer named Becca Butcher - look her up on YouTube, or Alena Downs - MY pole instructor. Absolutely mind blowing and so inspiring.

My palms look they have been severely sun burned; due to the fact I use my pole at every possible moment.

Last night, as I have mentioned, was my first "performance" for my class. Moments before, my heart was racing, dry mouth, and all of those wonderful stage fright symptoms but it went fabulously and I'm very proud of myself.

I chose to do Tegan & Sara's 'Empty In between' for 2 reasons;

• 1) I adore the song, and (despite what some may assume) it works really well
• 2) It's 1 minute & 30 seconds long and I'm a huge baby who can't handle the pressure beyond that much time passing..

YET

Mind you, I'll play around for my friends and family with no hesitation. There's just something initially frightening about performing for 3 beyond incredibly skilled trainers, one of whom made a career of dancing for 15 years+ and now OWNS the studio.

Then my voice of reason steps in and reminds me - these people WANT me to succeed. And, even if they didn't - for whatever reason - their income is based on my interest and success.

WIN - WIN

Looking forward to the weekend - Friday Night = Watching Strippers with a group of girls from Pole Junkies. I can't tell if more time will be spent admiring or critiquing their pole work.

And Saturday - Checking out Hudson's Pub. :)

Anxiety

Feelin' it at a pretty intense level lately.

I can't even put my finger on it, but it's reoccurring and usually it casually subsides after it does it's thing - personally I can't stand it.

I basically deal with it by trying to breathe and remind myself that I have nothing that is worrying me, breathing (sighing..) and whatever else I can come up with.

Last night I went mentally examined my life, searching for things that could potentially be secretly bothering me, and nothing came of it. In fact, things are BETTER now than they were just a short time ago;

• Nanny is going to be released from the hospital which everyone considered a 0% chance
• I got over some serious stage fright by working on my pole work with Juli
• The money situation is fine
• Semester two started TODAY, so I don't have any stress there
• ?

I need to get my shit checked out. I'm sighing as fidgeting while I type this.

Tomorrow night is my final class of Level 3 - BRING IT INVERTS ! Everyone in my class has to do a showing of what we've learned thus far (can't believe it's been since December already?)

Pretty nervous, but kind of excited. I feel really proud of how much skill I've obtained - and holy smokes I have arm strength! Unbelievable, I can do pull-ups !

That's all for today, I'll leave off with my favorite pole sit...

Pole Fav x2

I know I said you aren't allowed to have jacked arms in our marriage, but that doesn't mean I can't?

Love,
Wendy

Absent

Back at work today.
Back to regular class on Monday.
Happy Birthday Megan Hill.

Yesterday I went to the Casino in Calgary for the first time in my life. It was so strange to me, the parking lot looked like it could hold capacity for West Edmonton Mall and it was completely packed. On the outside it looks like a movie theatre - where there's different levels and weird protruding corners, all decorated with some random asymmetrical grid pattern - and the inside is like a tiny piece of Vegas.

I looked like a deer in headlights I'm sure.

So Beth and I played Bingo - well, SHE played Bingo (I can't handle the number/letter mix - thanks dyslexia?) And she actually won. TOO BAD she didn't realize until someone else called it.

Memorable moments consist of:

• One of the workers being Kate Hudson's twin. +10 years maybe, but seriously it was insane.
• The lady sitting adjacent to us repeating how "bizarre" her daughter winning a large pot was, and crying for about 15 minutes after said win.
• How twitchy well oxygenated areas make a person

Moving on.

I'm in the process of selling my Alero (shed a tear, I know) and can't wait to drive through the mountains in this beautiful thing:

How wonderful it is to work at a car dealership. We'll see you so soon.

I've been Skyping with Jodie & Megan a lot, this makes me so happy. It feels less like missing someone when you can actually see their face. You both make life amazing - muchos thanks.

Sorry, I Could Have Sworn This Was Flo...

Whoops - I guess you'll have to spend more time paying attention to other peoples' cats (that aren't your fav).

Oh, isn't he the most handsome boy...

Have a GOOD Friday

As far as I've heard, the new-ish Tim Horton's commercial (the one where the man buys his family second hand jackets and is overwhelmed when he sees them arrive at the airport) makes everyone cry.

By everyone, I mostly mean JESSICA PALMER.

Anyway, it IS a touching commercial, but the best part about it is the stereotypical "overwhelmed look" the man has.

Man looks in the distance

His wife draws closer

*Que*

Brings fist to mouth

Powerful

I burst out laughing every time it plays. I also burst out laughing when I was on the Tim Horton's website checking out their new wrap, and noticed this:

In fact, I'm still laughing.
Enjoy, Julv.

OH WOW

Things That Are Great

My last 2 finals for this semester are tomorrow

Health is amazing

Spring Break begins Thursday at 9pm

Things That Are Unbelievable

How happy it makes me to see my Nan & Poppy interact

Walking with linked arms from the hospital to the car with Poppy

Nan's sense of humour

Ab definition and Boot Camp

Things That I Didn't Expect

My Mom's interest in my life blowing through the roof

My life to be what it is today- hindsight 20/20

I'm looking forward to having no work, no school - workouts, walks, hospital visits, pole class, relaxing, new friend, strength, not furst - but second Easter.

Can we just take a moment to realize how fucking far life has brought me in the last year? Fast paced every day and not even a moment to run away over the mountains.

What a pity. Just like your idea of how important you aren't.

Exude this

Video Bar

What a nifty little tool.
You can watch videos of my Pole Instructor, she will amaze you.
If it seems like a walk in the park for her, it's because she has the most jacked body I've ever seen, and lifting her own weight is basically as easy as breathing..

Enjoy.

(Oh, and I put links to cat vids for you McKenzie)

Yellow Post It

(Cred to Romy and Michele)

Tonight is Earth Hour (8:30-9:30pm Mountain Time)

So, turn off all your shit and go for a walk! Take a nap, or lay in the grass... basically anything that doesn't involve power. Nemo, go swim.

Between 10pm and 5am some things happened to me.

At 12, Jodie finally got revenge for when I convinced her that Megan has herpes.

(Basically, for my Pathology class I had to do a presentation on Herpes and decided to play a joke on Jodie using Megan as a prop - and I only chose Megan because she's our mutual intimate partner. Regardless, I told Jodie I wanted to interview her based on "What it's like being sexually involved with someone with herpes". She lost her shit. I think I was laughing to tears at my work desk)

She vowed revenge, and despite her tactic being rather subtle, it still got my gears grinding and put me in a very aggravated state.

Kudos to you, Gilbert. We are even.

And Peter, the first thing I said was that I knew you were laughing - you can't lie to me, so you're lucky I couldn't see your stretched cheeks.

Prior to that event, Leon got outside yesterday! And get this - I FOUND HIM!

If you know me, even in the slightest, you know that I can't find a god damn thing. Ever. Never. Ever.

It was like a mini man-hunt for him, everyone going around with flashlights and calling his name.

And how did I find him you may be wondering?
I was standing in the dark beside a shoulder level garden trying to figure out why leaves were moving despite there being no wind..

Turns out it was worms SLOWLY WIGGLING AROUND - AH! Reminded me of an episode of Goosebumps.
Anyway, I looked over - saw him - booked it after him and ta-da!
WIN
Final event, at 5am - (I'm basically dead asleep with Beth in our bed)

I wake up a bit, to hear a slow creaking. And it doesn't stop, for at least a minute. Kind of like a super squeaky door hinge.

I'm blinded by the bedroom light being flicked on and off, leaving a silhouette of a person in the doorway. Creepy. Making me creeped out, half asleep, and very fucking confused.

Silhouette starts moving towards the bed. I smack Beth. Further confused.

Silhouette turns out to be 'Katy Perry' and (and KP from now on). KP starts to GET INTO THE BED?!

Beth isn't wearing a shirt, jumps out of bed. All I can say is "What is going on..what is happening".

Seriously - you try being woken up by a freaky dark stranger and not being able to "HIYA!"

I ask KP what she's doing, and she lets out a further creepy, ditsy giggle "ah hah.. ohh sorryyy guyss" and stumbles out.

I couldn't sleep after that. What the hell.

Nice girl, though?
/end of story.

Robyn Hutton wants to go swimming today. Let's go in August?

Nanny

When I was at the hospital visiting Nan with Megan and Zoe, she started to tell us how, from her room window, she could see young soldiers marching and driving tanks - all holding guns - towards the Stampede Grounds. She said she could hear them singing, and no one wanted to hear them sing, and they were most definitely too young to be holding guns, let alone riding in tanks.

When I walked over to the window, it became very apparent that you can only see a lower level gravel rooftop, and you most definitely can't see anywhere NEAR the Stampede Grounds, which are obviously downtown.

It was really disturbing to hear her speak in such detail about things that aren't real, but are so vivid for her. I guess I've never been exposed to anyone with dementia, but it's very sad.

Now, I'd been thinking about her story for the last couple days, and while driving to work this morning what did I see? A group of young soldiers walking towards the Stampede Grounds..
I burst into tears, and I'm not even sure why.

I've never seen a group of soldiers in my life, to begin with. And I've never felt such a strong sign either. I'm not sure yet what to take from it, but I'm thinking of you Nan.

Pole Update

Level 3 - Class 3

I haven't had my pole up in 2 weeks due to the move, but tonight is the night the glory returns to the living room.

It's much needed for how much practicing I need to do, pole stands and combo spins are handing my ass to me - so, so difficult. It makes me so fucking happy. A new girl transferred to my class, her name is Julianna and she's such a sweetheart. I offered to let her use my pole, hoping this turns into the friend I've been looking for. She's 25, recently moved back to Calgary from taking Musical Theatre in LA and she's a dancer (bonding!) and has the wonderful energy almost everyone else in my life is lacking.

I want to film something tonight if all goes well installing. Just so you know, by the end of Level 3 - which is in 3 weeks - I'll be able to hold myself upside down by my feet. So, enjoy the last little while you have with me before I potentially break my neck!

Hux and Leon are becoming friends, Flo is still very angry. What a Queen. Quatchie is good too.

On a more serious note, I'm just going to put this into the World - I have nothing but wonderful thoughts and memories with you Nan - I love you with my whole heart, and so does our whole family; If you stay, or if you go - know it.

Photo Love & Bathroom Serenity

Can do:

The Great Move

I love luck! Bethany was given tickets to the Flames game at work, and my clinic night ran too late, so she sold them - for 300$!
Clearly, the only option is to go eat too many apps at BP's (Boston Pizza, NOT British Petroleum) and pass out before 12.

As of Friday, I am re registered with my First Aid; I can officially save lives. Or so I hope. It's actually rather alarming how hard you have to beat a baby on the back to dislodge something it might be choking on.

"I thought she was choking" - What an excuse (hah?)

We moved almost everything on Saturday, nearly died in the process. Stopped in at Twisted for Jess' birthday - over all pretty low key night and we went home early. I fuckinnnnng haaaaaate seeing people on MDMA - get a life, seriously.

Went out and bought all new bedroom furniture Sunday - this is a result of my previous bed breaking under my ass. Pout. It was old..
ANYWAY - SLEIGH BED!! Almost my dream, but only about half as sleigh as it needs to be one day.

The cats are all under one roof - Poor Leon, he can't go anywhere without Flo wanting to murder him. The best part is that she's a little sweetheart, but it's not enough to overrule instinctual programming.
One day they'll be best friends...or they'll be missing someone...

Finals start on FRIDAY! Woohoo, another 7 exams in 5 days. FML.

I was hoping that my pole would be up yesterday but we're having troubles finding a stud (don't even make a comment), but after that is over and done with I have SO MUCH material to video. I actually completely forgot what it's like to be upside down until last Tuesday. When do people stop being fearless kids?

April 2 = Spring Break. Countdown commence.

Last night the drag show was pretty interesting. Dez brought some boozie ass girls, and as I was leaving one of them went to shake my hand? Despite that we had already met 2 hours prior "formally" and that handshake turned into an awkward stranger hug GOD DAMMIT I HATE THOSE. Needless to say, I scurried away across the street like any squirrel would.

Shout out to Julv.

International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination

Happening March 21, 2010.

I remember last year how intense the rallying was in downtown Calgary. It made me feel so many things at once. Probably one of the biggest adrenaline rushes I've ever experienced.

It makes me angry how ignorant people can allow themselves to be.
It makes me afraid that people feel the need to cover their faces to protect their lives from harm in the future.
It makes me proud of the crowd that comes to support unity in any way shape or form.

I was looking through random Google photos of the event trying to find the Calgary Sun cover that had the side of my sweater in it, as well as photos of the event and look what I stumbled upon:

Could I be more interested?

I think this year I will go down again. Zoe just told me that we might have a bit of Jew in us? Random. It's refreshing to see people be so passionate about something that MATTERS. Police have to protect these bigots- can't wait until Karma finds each and every one of you...

In other news...
Moving has begun. Can't wait to be done.

I need to find a doctor as soon as possible. After the incident on Saturday I need to find out what happened to me. I spoke with quite a few people about the details, and considering the chances of me being drugged are about 1 in a million, it seems as though I might have had a seizure without being extremely tense in appearance (which is apparently really common), and the side effects of what happened after were a result of the fact that I had consumed alcohol mixed with extreme fatigue.

Here's hoping it never happens again. Thank you everyone who took care of me...

My conch piercing hurts.

That is all.

Speak

My abs hurt enough to break off from the rest of my body.
Pole level 3 is so intense. I'm thinking with the higher ceilings I'll be able to post a video soon.
This has been muchos procrastinated, and believe it or NOT my Mom is the one asking for videos the most.. odd.

In addition to the "just for fun" aspect, I have a list of requests I am to fulfill sooner, rather than later. Feel free to add to this request pattern.. unless you're Megan. You only get one. The one's I'm currently working on -

1. Pole tribute to Michael Jackson - Kristin
2. Pole tribute to Lady Gaga - MD

Don't expect this any sooner than the 20th..

In other news...

Poppy is well, so glad the surgery went as planned. School is well. Moving will be well.
Jodie is in town this weekend, can't wait to see that little brat. And I honestly think I'm more excited to HEAR her, than see her. Especially when she's drunk.

She's become a bit of a "inside joke" in my class... (that sounds bad, let me explain)
Obviously we massage each other a lot, and some techniques are invasive and painful, etc..
So when someone says "It hurts..", it's often followed by someone saying "..it reallyyyy does." in a British accent...

I think I should post said video, for those who may not understand.
And then I should post myself in Texas, laughing the same way, almost 3 years previous.

Ramble ramble ramble...

I wish you could buy butterflies

Sometimes I wish our lives were video documented.
Even if in silence.

Everyone could have a library in their basement, and a rusty old player to watch memories on, right there. I wonder what parts of my life I would re-watch.

Perhaps driving away from Cemetery Hill
Perhaps driving down Granville.
Perhaps walking past Mac's at 8th.
Perhaps climbing the fence beside 52nd at 2am
Perhaps looking out my Gr. 8 classroom window towards the empty walkway
Perhaps every memory before that

I wonder what the world would be like then.
I wonder if we'd have less to lie about, and less to regret.
Even if temporarily.

Just a thought.

Dear Peter,

I'm over here. Still being ugly.

Love, Wendy

Messages in a Bottle

1. I'm going to be there for you, and I'm sorry I didn't take what you said more seriously. Get the help you need. So many people love you.

2. I really want to be proud of you, I wonder if that will ever happen. It feels really disheartening to make the same mistake over and over, you'll get it. I know it.

3. You are more than your body. Than your face. Than your past. ( - + - )

4. I miss you..

Dear Negatives

Please stop whining.
I feel so on top of the world. Why? Because I bring myself to that place, or I bring people into my life who have that influence.
Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean you can change it.
End of story.

Where Am I

Midterms are over, phew, and now I'm sick. Lovely.

Currently looking for a new place to live.

Honestly, only 2 months in, I'm really looking forward to school being done so I can take MORE courses to get where I want to be. I'm realizing that the written work of massage therapy will prove to be the most important. Taking all of these intense courses and building them into a career.

If I ever plan to get to B.C and survive there, I won't be an RMT. I'd be called a "body mover". No thanks. Oh life, where will you take me next?

Carly and Poppy just had birthdays. 23, 83. I love you both, so much.

Pole Level 3, begins Tuesday. I think it's about time I post something I've accomplished. The degree of difficulty is about to go sky high - exactly like my body will. I'll take some pictures soon. The human body is amazing, inside and out. I learn this more everyday.

I hope things settle down for you soon, Peter. They always do. Go clean.

Enjoy your vacation; grow grow grow grow grow.

Un - Easy

I wonder what it is brewing inside.
Would enjoy a sign.
Not a blind side.

My Calling

Oh hey! Look what I learned to do last night:

Pretty stoked on it. Not so stoked how much my inner thighs hurt, but it's worth it.

No Title

Today, I woke up to a text from "Carly Welsh"
For some reason that's how I felt I should save you in my phone.
Weird.

Deleted that today at 4:30.

What a day.

I'm at work, should have started and finished studying but I had a bunch of ACTUAL work to do, that was alarming.
And in addition, I have about 10 different things on my mind.

I go to school with a girl who really, REALLY reminds me of Ashley Winters. Her name is Kristen Penhall and she is growing to be one of my most favoured people. She's funny, she's intelligent, she's witty (and uses that wit to make fun of the same people as I would). She actually just posted something on my Facebook, what a coincidence.

I think it's quite ironic that just as Ashley leaves the country, her twin shows up. I haven't seen Ashley in forever, but I still find it odd.

I have seen some serious Moses action errupt from speaking to Kalie in the past, but none like the last 24 hours. I think I didn't stand a chance before it even started. Earlier in the day on Wednesday, 3 different people said to me

"I can't believe she hasn't texted you yet"

Call me naive, but I could believe it. I wasn't surprised when it happened. But I wasn't holding my breath trying to predict it, either.

I can't even post much beyond that, not here.

You tore me a new asshole today, and I honestly need you to know that it hurts. I don't try to be an idiot, or make terrible decisions. You hate her. Not me. And I have a serious problem, just yesterday you made fun of it. Just because I rarely cry doesn't mean you can stomp on baby's tear ducts..

With all of that in mind, I think I need to see someone. Like a doctor, or whoever the fuck tells you what is or isn't wrong with your brain.

Wouldn't it be wonderful for my Mom and I to bond over ADHD - after all, we already bond over weighing the same.

I kid you not, my Mom has lost so much weight she could be my body twin. Beth actually looked at her and said "MMMM"

That'd be creepy, except moments later I swing back with "Mmm.. Chair sex"

(Becky I'm so sorry, your wheelchair isn't a choice)

Regardless - WIN.

Pole Class Level 1? Complete.

Level 2 - Commence next Monday; we have to start wearing shorts. I think this is the part where I start to become familiar saying things like 'check out this sick bruise on my belly button' , 'wow - I have the biggest callus on my inner thigh'.

Excited..

School is getting really intense. I can actually feel a migraine creeping it's way into behind my eye.

Dear friends in Calgary:

My Practicum begins February 5th. 4pm-7pm.

Lemme touch yo body fo' a minute; 24 bucks.

And by a minute, I mean 60.

Every Friday after that as well. :)

Speaking of Friday, I'm hanging out with Eric tomorrow. I think we are gunna watch a movie or something. Feels good to forgive, forget, and be friends a bit.

- - - - -

Dear Beth,

I love you more than anything. I've lost track of how many times I've fallen inlove with you, too.

Bean

School Work School WOrk scool wrok scholo..wrk..s..w..

Semester 1

Physiology
Anatomy
Hydrotherapy
Pathology
Massage Theory
Massage Therapy
Massage Assessment
Practicum

Work
Pole Class
Floor Hockey

Sleep - questionable.

That's my life right now, in a nutshell. Beats out ;

Work @ Xerox
-

ANY DAY!

Aside from that, all is well. Things on my mind are as follows;

Last night was so much fun, Jodie returned from New Zealand this week and she came over.(As well as Brandy <3, Steph, Britta, Xian, JLV, Kelsey, Lana) We attempted to play Cranium for a while but it mostly consisted of a few rounds of insane screaming matches and spitting smarties into each others mouths. Don't have a CLUE why or how that began.

God damn, I'm gunna miss that little foreigner so much.

This girl at Twisted was absolutely gooned out of her tree, half naked and basically being fucked by half the dance floor. I couldn't believe the messiness. It was hilarious, nonetheless. Her friend actually said to me "You've gotta grind her hard" - like, thanks tips. Because she really needs that when her dress is falling off and some dude is potentially raping her at this very moment.

Bleh.

I am currently at work. On a Saturday. WHAAAAT is this about! Oh well. Should definitely start studying right after this.

Things that amuse me, currently;

-Tiffany is pregnant - that is so fucking cool! (I don't know why I chose
the word cool, could be great, amazing, supa! But there you have it)
-Love Triangles that DON'T involve me!
- How much I love you!

Tomorrow I have nothing to do! Cannot wait!